Pelvic Floor 101

So you came across a fun ad singing the praises of an orgasm-having, spill-proof, tighter-than-tight hoo-ha that is able to leap tall buildings and fix dinner while doing math homework with your middle schooler. You are more than a little intrigued, right? Is this something I need? I would like more sensation down there or even some sensation. I’m not sure I’m stretched out, but I’m pretty sure my husband’s pecker shrunk. Leakage isn’t sexy you say? Why am I just hearing this? Pelvic floor dysfunction? I already have enough dysfunction in my family!

Your pelvic floor might have been a term you vaguely remember overhearing during pregnancy or while your feet were in the stirrups, but, like most women and 99.9% of men, you probably couldn’t define it if it was multiple choice and there was prize money and a friend to call. So sit down, grab a pencil, and get ready for Pelvic Floor 101!

Think of your pelvic floor as a sling/hammock/trampoline made of layers of muscle whose job it is to support and hold in place your uterus, bladder, and colon (poop shoot). These muscles attach at the pubic bone and extend to the tail-bone. They play a big role in controlling your bladder and bowel and help sexual function. Ok, here’s the textbook definition in case you really are taking notes: (clears throat) Healthline defines “Pelvic Floor Dysfunction as the inability to control the muscles of your pelvic floor. Contracting and relaxing these muscles allows you to control your bowel movements, urination, and, for women particularly, sexual intercourse.” Now that’s some serious stuff! According to a study funded by the National Institute of Health, almost one-quarter of women have pelvic floor disorders. According to a study conducted by The Vagina Boss (aka me), more than half the women I know have tinkle running down their legs and a lackluster sex life.

So how do they weaken? No, it’s not just from the weight of a baby or pushing something the size of a watermelon out something the size of a lemon, though this is definitely a major battering to your lady parts and poop parts. The muscles like all muscles weaken with age, obesity, and gravity.

Unlike your Uncle Jerry’s need to show up to dinner with his ferret or your cousin Loretta’s obsession with beanie babies, this is one dysfunction that has a sure-fire fix.

So let’s keep all those parts up and in your body and doing their jobs. Not only is the Downunder Trainer doctor recommended, but it’s also mother, friend, and husband recommended.

dut xoxo-07

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